The
Christmas break is over. The shops are already stocking Valentine
cards and crème eggs and it’s back to business for many. If
you’ve been over-indulging, eating and drinking too much, lounging
about indoors and writing nothing more taxing than endless shopping
lists, it’s time to follow Clare Cooper’s light-hearted
resolutions guide and get yourself back on track with your
story-writing fitness regime.
WALKING
AND LIFTING
Power-walk
your way to your nearest bookshop. Now, buy as many books as you can
afford. Don’t forget to use those book tokens you were so loudly
dropping hints about in the run-up to Christmas. Balance it out by
buying an even number and size of books, so that the weight is evenly
distributed.
As
you make your way home, you can congratulate yourself on two things.
One: The weight of the books is giving your upper arms a much-needed
workout. No, lifting the TV remote control every day and night for
the last two weeks doesn’t count; sorry. Two: You can treat it as
research but, more importantly, you are supporting your fellow
writers and keeping everyone in jobs, from the bookseller to the
delivery van driver to the publisher to the editor to their assistant
to the cover jacket designer to the printer to the coffee machine
vending company to the office cat to… you get the picture.
When
you do finally sit down at your desk, remember to take regular breaks
every hour. Walk around your desk, walk around the room, walk up and
down the hallway, walk up and down the stairs but try to resist
walking to the fridge or food cupboard more than once every hour. OK,
twice.
TONING
Your
arms and legs are toning up nicely, but there’s another type of
tone: your writing voice. Make this the year you develop your own
unique tone and style. Remember what Oscar Wilde once said: “Be
yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Target your chosen market and do
your research on them. Buy a few issues of that publication, go
online, look at their website, get hold of their guidelines, study
their readership (their Facebook page will be great for this) and
don’t give up too easily if you receive a few rejections before you
hit the mark.
RESISTANCE
TRAINING AND TREADMILL
You
have been sending in your stories to various publications for months,
if not years and you’re still not hitting the mark with them –
see above. Resist the urge to take it all too personally. Step off
the treadmill of negativity. It’s not the fault of the editors.
They know their publications inside out and they know what their
readers want. They also know about stories that have well-worn themes
and are therefore predictable and guessable, with no real surprises.
Plots that are not strong enough. Disjointed stories that appear to
be about more than one thing and stories that are too far-fetched.
Keep learning, keep trying and remember to be patient! Editors have
to read hundreds of stories, not just yours (though, of course, yours
is undoubtedly the best and most important one in the heap), as well
as getting on with the many other sides to their job – and all to
deadlines!
PRESENTATION
Don’t
sweat the small stuff. House styles vary between publications and no
two are the same. Your job is to provide the words, in a clear and
readable manner, preferably double-spaced, with a word count. Put
your contact details on there somewhere and let them take care of the
rest.
BODYBUILDING
It
takes time to build the perfect body and it takes time to build a
good relationship with your editors. Keep it polite and pleasant;
don’t be stroppy or difficult. You won’t necessarily get any more
acceptances if you are the former, or fewer acceptances if you are
the latter, but who wants a reputation for being awkward to deal
with? (Bribes won’t work, either, but they will make editors very
happy. I like chocolate, btw.)
SPINNING
Don’t
get yourself in a spin with words. There is such a thing as
overwriting; a common fault seen everywhere. You may think, why use
two words when you can use ten? But editors won’t be impressed with
your exhaustive knowledge of the dictionary. It won’t help your
story along. It will, instead, halt the flow and befuddle the reader.
Less is often more. Many consider Raymond Chandler novels to be among
the best. Read them to find out why.
STRETCHING
AND FLEXING
If
you have been sitting at your desk, beavering away for some hours
(you have, haven’t you? I don’t mean catching up with everyone on
social media, either), you will find that you will need to flex your
fingers and stretch your neck and limbs. My top tip: never put food
within stretching distance. Always have it where you have to leave
the room to go and find it, thus building in a little more exercise
along the way.
Back
at your desk, stretch yourself a little with your writing: don’t
just stick to the tried and trusted same-old, same-old themes because
you’ve had some success with them in the past. Don’t be afraid to
test the water with your editors – speak to them and run your ideas
past them first (without giving too much away), so that you’re not
wasting your time and theirs. If they’re not suitable for them,
try elsewhere. Expand your markets. Flexibility can also mean taking
constructive criticism on board and working with your editors to make
the necessary changes to improve your story’s chances.
BOXING
Sometimes,
the cut and thrust of the writing business will get you down.
Everyone has their off days. Take any criticism on the chin - see
above. We’re all here to learn. Switch off that critical, nagging
inner voice, cut yourself some slack, go into the garden and take it
out on the weeds, maybe clear out a few kitchen cupboards as well,
then get back in the ring. Raise those gloves. Slug it out. You can
do it; you know you can!
ROWING
(WITH AN “OH” NOT AN “OW”)
Don’t
worry too much about how you are going to get there. Some have it all
planned out and will only ever steer in a straight line, with no
distractions; others won’t have a clue and are quite happy to
meander endlessly around the byways and tributaries until they can
see where they are going. Everyone has their own preferred method.
It’s not a race. Just follow your own course.
PULLING,
PUSHING AND PRESS-UPS
When
you feel the pull of the computer, don’t fight it. Push yourself to
write something every day. Get into the habit of a daily workout.
Press yourself to do a little more each time. Enter competitions,
review books online, send something to magazine letters pages. Build
up your writing muscle.
Oscar
Wilde (him again; he was a busy boy) wrote that we should always
travel with a diary so we would have something sensational to read on
the train and Mae West, who also led a somewhat colourful life, is
quoted as saying: “Always keep a diary. One day it will keep you.”
Maybe your entry will read more along the lines of: “Went to
Sainsbury’s, waited ages for the bus, forgot cat food, forced to
share my tea with Tiddles, had a bath, went to bed” but my point is
that it’s all good practice and life, even at its most mundane and
routine, will be fodder to an active imagination. Don’t forget that
notebook and pen!
PERSONAL
TRAINING
Sometimes
we reach a plateau, stalemate, and need a fresh approach to reach our
goals. It can seem we’re never going to get there. At the gym, we
would be assessed regularly and our training program adjusted
accordingly. Our trainer would hopefully be supportive and
encouraging, too. Try joining a writing group or going on a course.
There are many excellent ones out there. You will get valuable
feedback and possibly some new ideas. If nothing else, it’s a break
from your normal daily routine and you will likely end up with a few
more friends on Facebook.
STAR
JUMPS
Because,
when you have finished your piece and, even better, had it accepted,
you will feel like jumping for joy. Probably best to do it outdoors,
though. Never mind what the neighbours may think. They’re well used
to you and your funny little ways by now.
Happy
new writing year, everyone!
